A number of clients have recently needed to know how to manage a bully in their workplace, and an employment lawyer friend of mine likens it to death by 1,000 mosquito bites. It has devastating effects on the target both physically and mentally and can cause far reaching damage to an organisation: moral is destroyed, clients leave, the bottom line takes a hit. The following are a few ideas on how you can manage a bully in your workplace.
What is it?
As an HR professional, when I’m working with a client who has a bully in their workplace, getting in contact with an Employee Assistance Provider and talking to an employment lawyer is inevitably on the “To Do” list. It is also important that business owners and managers understand that 1. They are not counsellors and 2. If it is getting tricky a good employment lawyer is invaluable.
To me, there are two distinct forms of bullying:
1. Behaviour that is clearly defined as illegal – think a breach of human rights.
2. Behaviour that is“offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour – an abuse of power that undermines, humiliates or injures the recipient” (MBIE definition)
The key point is that bullying can be many things and it is not so much about what is done, it is more about the effect is has on the target.
NB I deliberately use the word target not victim, as the person being bullied is often a popular high achiever who just wants to do a good job.
What can you do?
Firstly, model the behaviour that you want to see – screaming at the bully, or talking behind their back is not going to help. Try the following:
1. Make sure you have a clearly defined anti-bullying policy and some reference to teamwork a.k.a. “playing nicely with others” clause in your position descriptions and performance reviews.
2.Take a stand – no one deserves to be treated like this and there is no reason or explanation that makes bullying acceptable.
3. Courageous conversations need to take place early on. Take the bully aside (remove the audience) and explain “That’s not how we do things here.”
4. Start a performance management plan or disciplinary process and support the target.
What can you say?
Starting the conversation can be challenging, Dan O’Connor has 4 Magic Phrases You Can Use to Respond to ANYTHING (Please note, Dan is pretty wacky, for my introverted readers just keep listening – it’s worth it).
He suggests choosing from one of four options, which will allow you to gather more information before you respond:
· Tell me more
· Why would you say that?
· Why would you do that?
· Why would you ask xxxb that question?
The conversation then becomes more like puppy training a.k.a “Please don’t poop in the corner or on our employees”. The conversation needs to look something like this:
1. Identify the behaviour
2. Explain why it is not appropriate
3. Define the consequences if the behaviour continues
Like a good golf swing, the follow through is just as important as the initial conversation:
1. Send an email to the employee summarising the discussion
2. Start a new file detailing what happened and what was said
3. Follow through with the consequences if the behaviour continues
You also need to keep an eye on and support the target. You could consider:
1. Asking if they would like a mentor or support outside the workplace via an EAP provider or Workplace Support is important
2. Raising the issue in the next team meeting and defining behaviour expectations in the workplace
Final Thoughts:
The worst thing you can do is nothing, and the challenge is to act not react. Whatever happens, go into documentation mode.
1. Document all policies, job descriptions and performance reviews
2. Document all informal incidents
3. Document all formal meetings
Recommended Reading:
Andrea Needham Workplace Bullying: The Costly Business Secret
Kay Douglas, Kim McGregor Power Games: Confronting Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own
If you are in doubt, always ask for help and “Rescue the Rescuer” create your own support network, managing a bully can be an exhausting and stressful process. If you have anything to add please email sarah@employmenow.co.nz.