Here are my top five questions to ask yourself before you walk into the office and tell your boss where to go, how to get there and what to do 
when they arrive.
1. Will I still feel the same after a good night’s sleep?
If you have got to the stage where you are so wound up that you can’t sleep, you may not be able to answer this question for a couple of days. When you do get home, write a letter to your boss telling them exactly what you think, why you are so frustrated and what you want them to do to fix the situation. DO NOT SEND THE LETTER. The next morning, read it again and see if it still rings true. Even if it does, DO NOT SEND THE LETTER use it as a talking point when you finally have a fact to face meeting.
2. What is my bean count?
Take a look your bank accounts and projected expenses so you can work out how long you could survive without facing personal bankruptcy. Based on your knowledge of the job market, economy and what you are prepared to settle for in a new role, you need to make a conservative estimate on how long you can go without an income. Knowing that you can feed and house both you and your dependants for at least three months is a good start.
3. How will I explain my RFL?
In the world of HR, discovering a candidate’s “Reason For Leaving” (RFL) is a critical part of an interview process. It demonstrates both self-awareness and emotional maturity. Being clear about why you chose to leave a role, being able to describe what you learned from the experience and how you will prevent a repeat performance is an important part of re-employment.
4. What would my trusted adviser say?
Think about someone who has an opinion that you value. If you can’t get face to face, imagine sitting down to coffee and explaining the situation. Tell the story of what happened as if you are Peter Jackson pitching a movie. Describe the scene from your point of view, then from your manager’s point of view and imagine hearing how your trusted adviser would respond. Amazing how getting visual can give you some perspective!
This exercise is like the difference between walking a track over a mountain and flying over it in a helicopter. You suddenly realise that the “mountain” really is a small mound of something else, not worth climbing over.
5. Have I made a bad situation better or worse?
Get off your high horse and head for the moral high ground. If you have gone through the process and think of something you might be able to do to rectify the situation, just do it! Being able to say that you acted like an adult, considered your alternatives and proactively managed the situation might be enough to allow you to stay or at least leave with your references intact.
Remember that good references are a commodity on the employment market and no matter how bad it gets and how awful your boss is you need to at least try be the person that “can keep your head when all about you, Are losing theirs and blaming it on you” (If by Rudyard Kipling).