In The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement Professor Keith Campbell explores 
the intriguing challenge of dealing with a narcissist. I personally think narcissism is a worldwide pandemic and the question of how to deal with a narcissistic boss has become a hot topic in the HR and Careers Guidance world.
Bureaucratic hierarchies are fertile ground for narcissistic behaviour – think “Wolf of Wall Street.” Also, it’s not just about the Narcissist, it’s about their followers who enable the behaviour. At a team level, narcissistic behaviours lead to poor decision making and team performance. At an organisational level they can can paralyse a company leaving it unable to adapt to market changes in an ever evolving world. To find out exactly what narcissism is and how you can deal with it.
Who was Narcissus?
Narcissus was a Greek adonis who fell in love with his own reflection. He was so lovesick with the idea of himself that he died of starvation after forgetting to eat or drink.
The story echo’s Plato’s Allegory of the Cave – shadows cast on a cave wall are not reality and falling in love with a false construct is never going to be productive.
Narcissists have an exaggerated and unrealistic view of their importance in the world and their personal abilities. They are addicted to self-image and manipulate others to validate this image. They have strong feelings of entitlement and actually believe that they deserve special treatment a.k.a “rules don’t apply to me, although I have the right to criticize you and what you are doing in public. and throw a tantrum if you don’t agree with what I am doing.”
Narcissists will pursue power at all costs and if you fight back, at first it’s like jumping into the ring with smoke. You can’t land any punches and all you end up doing is choking.
What can you do about it?
The fire triangle suggests that to burn something you need fuel, oxygen and an ignition source. The best way to manage a narcissist is to not hire them in the first place – no fuel. You can also manage the inappropriate behaviour because a narcissist can’t survive without their co-dependents – starve them of oxygen. Finally you can work on your own coping strategies so you do not react to them – no ignition.
If you are in a position of authority you can restructure a group or establish different reporting lines. However, if you are subordinate things get a little tricky. Here are three strategies to deal with a narcissistic boss:
1. Set your boundaries for appropriate behaviour early. Learn to say no when requests are unreasonable. Be guarded with your feedback and avoid been with the narcissist one on one where possible. As you don’t want to be bullied into agreeing with them or misquoted because there were no witnesses.
2. Keep good records of what you agreed too, how it is going to be delivered and by what time. These notes and emails will become a safety net, as when things are written down they are hard to ignore.
3. As narcissists are drawn to status, develop your own network in the organisation’s hierarchy. If you have high level sponsors you will be less likely to be a target as the narcissist does not want to tarnish their record.
As always, I do not claim to be a psychologist or an expert in this area; however; if you have any feedback on what it is like to work with a narcissist or want to share your story please email sarah@employmenow.co.nz..