Employers: Dealing With Death – When an Employee’s Loved One Dies

Dealing with death was much easier before the advent of mobile phones (according to my more senior HR colleagues). Especially when an employee worked in a role where personal calls were not taken during work hours. The HR team and supervisors could manage how and when the news was delivered, and ensure that their employee was away from the general public and/or hazardous environments.

With information dissemination moving almost at the speed of light, it is not uncommon for someone to find out via Facebook, or a friend that someone has died before the police have made the official call. So what would you do if an employee’s loved one dies while they are at work?

The first thing to remember is that everyone reacts differently to death. You could find your employee sitting at their desk with a thousand yard stare, they may want to leave work immediately or they may just carry on with their day. The process of grieving is also unpredictable – denial, anger and depression are only some of the emotions that people can experience, and just when they think the process is over, the emotional tidal wave hits again. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote extensively on the subject in her book On Death and Dying (Kübler-Ross, 1969).

Here is my rough guide to supporting an employee through a bereavement process:

1.Be Prepared: Before you are faced with the issue, make sure that leave entitlements are written into your employee agreements , and there is a well-documented leave policy. Under the Holidays Act 2003 and its associated Amendments there are two types of bereavement leave that an employee is entitled to after 6 months of continuous employment – depending on what their relationship was to the deceased.

At most the official paid leave period is three days, although, if my partner died, I doubt I could think straight for this period, let alone come to grips with the thought of life without him.

2. Communication: When you find out about the incident, if your employee has not already left, take them somewhere private,  that is away from the general public. Tell them that you are sorry for their loss and the two key questions are:

1. What do you need? (A hot drink and a box of tissues can go a long way)
2. How can I help?

You need to try and understand how close the association was between the employee and the deceased, and whether they have any special responsibilities that they need to fulfil. Initially, let the person know what their leave entitlements are and that you can discuss any additional leave at a later date.

If your employee is emotionally distraught, consider if they are safe to drive (especially in a company vehicle) and ask if there will be anyone at home to be with them when they arrive. Remember, as a manager you cannot be expected to counsel your employee and it’s best to leave that process to the experts. You can always suggest that they contact an EAP provider or Workplace Support.

3. Business Continuity: The employee agreement and your company policies will dictate how much leave is available. Having a team meeting to discuss the redistribution of work load and bringing in a temp may be a good idea.

4. Providing Support: Think about ordering a bunch of flowers or sending a card from the organisaiton and sending a representative to the funeral if it is appropriate (length of service and cultural considerations will dictate this decision).

5. Return to Work: If the employee has a stressful job that is customer facing, or works in a safety critical environment it is worth considering a gradual return to work. Supervisors need to be vigilant and if there are any signs of stress or emotional meltdown offer EAP or Workplace Support.

The process is never easy; perhaps the only positive consideration is that statistically your employees are more likely to catch the flu for a few weeks or apply for parental leave. However, given that death is universal, it will happen sooner or later and it’s better to spend a few moments thinking about how you will react when you find yourself dealing with death, instead of waiting for “that phone call” or Facebook post.

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